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If you were allowed only one child, which sex would you favour if any?

Last post 07-09-2007 11:48 AM by kakokoolo. 23 replies.
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  • 03-21-2007 2:43 PM

    • TKO
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    If you were allowed only one child, which sex would you favour if any?

    I noticed that in most third world countries, the choice is normaly boys

    The problem is most evident in Asia , with countries like India and china awarding boys more value

    In india , upto 10 million foetuses have been aborted in the last two decades  meaning there are more men than women

    Its becoming a hot political ,social and economic issue.

     

     

    I will return to expand on the subject later if time allows.

    In the mean time read this article to get the drift

     
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    Big idea

    A bias towards boys is unbalancing Asia



    James Harkin
    Saturday January 14, 2006
    The Guardian


    Counting up the numbers of boys and girls in a country has never been so troublesome. On Monday the medical journal the Lancet published a report estimating that prenatal selection and selective abortion in India was likely to be causing half a million girls to be culled every year. Within 24 hours, the Indian medical association weighed in to dispute the Lancet's figures as out-of-date and exaggerated. The Indian government has made no formal statement, but is said to be incandescent with rage.

    There are good reasons for all this sensitivity. The abnormally unbalanced gender ratios of some Asian countries - either due to abortion, sex-selective technologies such as ultrasound or old-fashioned infanticide - have been the subject of academic controversy since the late 1980s. Just recently, however, they come to be cloaked in a more sinister hue. One of the latest growth areas in the academy is in "security demographics", where scholars are invited to predict the potentially dire implications of demographic change, and one of the most gloomy prognostications is rooted in what could happen when sex ratios spin out of kilter.

    "Bare branches" is the Chinese term for the poor young men who are left with no prospect of finding a partner or starting a family. In their influential 2004 book of the same name, the American political scientists Valerie M Hudson and Andrea M den Boer argued that these men were an accident waiting to happen. The pair found evidence of a huge number of "missing females" in eight different Asian countries, but the vast majority were from India and China, where two-fifths of the world's population now live. In 1999, they noted, the Chinese academy of social sciences admitted that the birth-sex ratio in that country had reached 120 boys for every 100 girls, and that the number of surplus Chinese males was now 111 million.

    These legions of surplus males, according to Hudson and Den Boer, are often poor or unemployed, and lack bargaining power in the market for marriage. The consequences of this vast demographic shift, according to the authors, could be dire. As economies turn bad, those surplus males are likely to generate crime and violence. The only way for countries to absorb the growing surfeit of young males, they argue, might be to amass huge armies and go to war to use up the excess men.

    Hudson and Den Boer's thesis makes intriguing reading, but it is nothing more than an imaginative worst-case scenario. India has sought to stem the tide of sex selection by banning the use of technology to determine the sex of foetuses, but technology can usually outwit regulation. And although doctors in India must not tell the couples the sex of their foetus, many have developed coded signals for the job instead. The real reasons for the disparity lie in the hand-to-mouth agrarian culture of many parts of India, where men's physical labour counts for more than that of women and marriage dowries are excruciatingly expensive. The answer to bare branches lies not in bans, but in rapid development into the kind of world that has more time for the delicate charms of little girls.




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    "When I despair, I remember that all through history the way of truth and love has always won. There have been tyrants and murderers and for a time they seem invincible, but in the end, they always fall -- think of it, ALWAYS". Mohandas K. Gandhi


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  • 03-21-2007 6:27 PM In reply to

    • k_raw
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    Re: If you were allowed only one child, which sex would you favour if any?

    personally have no preference am not even sure i like any kids Big Smile (well they r fun for a while but keeping them permanently thats another story) but africans like asians value boys more than girls if a survey was done in ug with this question am sure boys wld come out tops come to think of it in all cultures in the world it is has always been the norm to value boys over girls

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  • 03-22-2007 1:36 AM In reply to

    • DeeNash
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    Re: If you were allowed only one child, which sex would you favour if any?

    Mhh would go for the boy! though slow in growing up..they are kinda easy to manage!
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  • 03-22-2007 3:45 AM In reply to

    • bflorrie
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    Re: If you were allowed only one child, which sex would you favour if any?

    Girl, definitely girl. would so much love to see a mini-me.

    with a Boy- well don't think i would figure out how they think especially when he is a teenager, but i guess that journey would be much surprising.

    The story of your life is really the story of the relations between yourself and God.
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  • 03-23-2007 6:05 PM In reply to

    Re: If you were allowed only one child, which sex would you favour if any?

    TKO - I sincerely pray I or ma kids never have to be met with such a dilema.  It's mental cruelty at one of its highest peak ever devised by man.  I initially wanted to have girls just so because I couldn't get over the toilet seat scenario - I since grew to realise this pretty much depended on the character of a child and training.

    Guess it would be a case of looking around within ma circle of associates, pick straws amongst us so that we have equal numbers of gender births... Mind you that wouldn't be a guarantee for the kids to later decide to be attracted to same gender, though there's always the laboratory test-tube solution...

    "Worrying is like a rocking chair: it gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you anywhere."
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  • 03-24-2007 11:53 AM In reply to

    • TKO
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    Re: If you were allowed only one child, which sex would you favour if any?

    @ SB, persanally i wouldn,t mind the sex  my ofsprings because. I guess, in the real world of today  a girl can do just as much as their opposites in term of  professional achievement . I mean ,we no longer have to be physically able to  provide for the upkeep of our kith and kin.

    I think the origin of that attitude originates from the early man ,when physical advatage was decisive in aquiring wealth, security, food etc.

    Biologically, man is the stronger sex when it comes to physical exertion, and that translates into beeing more economically more productive. 

    "When I despair, I remember that all through history the way of truth and love has always won. There have been tyrants and murderers and for a time they seem invincible, but in the end, they always fall -- think of it, ALWAYS". Mohandas K. Gandhi


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  • 03-26-2007 5:59 AM In reply to

    • butterfly
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    Re: If you were allowed only one child, which sex would you favour if any?

    Personally all Kids are equal so whether i have boys only or gals only i wouldnt mind. This african thing of boys this and that i detest!

    Little things affect little minds
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  • 03-26-2007 6:39 AM In reply to

    • kakokoolo
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    Re: If you were allowed only one child, which sex would you favour if any?

    Boy or gal, I wouldn't give a toss. The kid will be mine & I will love him/her the same. Have u noticed that a lot of UG sistas support their extended families these days?
    A fool and his money soon part ways.
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  • 03-26-2007 6:57 PM In reply to

    • TIICA
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    Re: If you were allowed only one child, which sex would you favour if any?

    butterfly:

    Personally all Kids are equal so whether i have boys only or gals only i wouldnt mind. This african thing of boys this and that i detest!

    BUTTERFLY,

    I have noticed of late that in several african families in some parts of Uganda there is a growing number of girls born in a family and at times you find that where a family has 7 children, 3 are boys 4 are girls, or in a family of 5, u find 3 girls , 2 boys. I was supprized when this issue came up for public disccussion and pipo were free to fon in and give their views on the local FM Radio Station called Kagadi Kibaale Community Radio KKCR 91.7Fm and the pipo wer asked if it matters wherther to have a boy or a girl as an heir of the family -- I was suprized that several pipo were saying that they would now consider having a girl as an heir .... some thing quite new-new, new, new-new, and a change from the traditional way of looking at things.

    Yes I agree with KAKOKOOLO

    that in Uganda of today, its the girls who have become a source of economic support for the families. These are girls who are educated and some of them may not be all that educated but by the very fact that they have seen the Blackboard (BAROZEREHO ORUBAAHO- babaireho mukilasi), then they are the ones getting a job and they are the ones thinking more and more and more and more of helping at home. And so society is beginning to see and say, wait a minute , I think yes, a girl can manage better the affairs of the family after am gone. And so in some families that is beginning to be the trend.

    I THINK  THE ARRIVAL OF URBAN, ELITE, AFRICAN SMALLER NUCLEAR TYPE FAMILIES OF MAN WOMAN AND ONE OR TWO OR THREE CHILDREN IS GOING TO MAKE SOME CHANGES IN SOCIETY.Of kos in the kyalo things are different and chage ther goes slowly, but with time  a new outlook will be accepted there as well. And what of the cases of AIDS -- its the parents dying having left behind 1 or 2 children and if boty are girls , then the clan is installing one of the girls as an heir ----- yes some thing new, and unbelievable yet TRUE.

    IAM because WE are , and since WE are, therefore IAM
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  • 05-20-2007 9:31 PM In reply to

    • TIICA
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    Can girls become heirs too?

     IN many African, Ugandan tribes it was a taboo in the traditional culture to  install a girl as an heir to her Dad, this was because we are living in a partilineal society that maintains that we inherit the line of the  Pater - Father - Dad. But more and more these days its a new phenomenon coming up that some parents espscially the Das are dying and living behind a widow(s) and perhaps with only girls in the home ofr with 3 girls and 2 boys and at times the deceased masy leave the only daughter and the only child as the heir.

     Some thing new indeed. I wonder what would be your views on this issue as seen in the african culture and as seen today in many present and incoming modern urban families of nuclear type whereby ther is the father, mother and one child who may be the girl. Can she be the heir?

    IAM because WE are , and since WE are, therefore IAM
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  • 05-21-2007 4:32 AM In reply to

    • k_raw
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    Re:Can girls become heirs too? a woman kabaka for buganda???

    well Tiica think about this do you know that the next king of buganda for lack of a better word is gonna be a woman (dont know how true this is but ive heard) Tht since the kabaka and nabagereka had a gal she is to inherit the crwon now i dont know how well that wld go down Buganda like most african commnuties has not made allowances for a woman as kabaka ......what do we call her husband if she marries he can certainly not be king or queen

    anyway like i said dont know if this is true and even if it was come the tyme am sure the kings first son out of wedlock will contest it and am sure some baganda men wld support him. In case it did go thru can buganda ever be ready for a woman kabaka???

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  • 05-22-2007 8:28 AM In reply to

    • butterfly
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    Re: Re:Can girls become heirs too? a woman kabaka for buganda???

    K-raw if my memory serves me right i think the Buganda kingdom hasnt yet progressed to having a ruling Queen. i remember that if Kabaka & Nabageleka dont get an heir one of the Kabaka's young brother takes over whoever in next in line. although Kabaka's Son jjunju stands a smaller chance than Sangalyambogo! So Nagginda and hubby are racing against time lol.......

    But well time  has some for monarchs to accept female rulers after all like Tiica says there more females being born than males. Classic example is the British Monarch.

    Little things affect little minds
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  • 05-22-2007 10:53 AM In reply to

    • k_raw
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    Re: Re:Can girls become heirs too? a woman kabaka for buganda???

    butterfly thats what i thought to but someone said that there was talk of changing the buganda constitution or something like that to ensure that the gal wld be the heir anyone who is sure about this topic feel free to jump in adn educate me am running on hearsay not sure how serious the person was who told me this but there it is

    the british monarch has had a long history of having women rulers a good example in this case would be the swedish monarch. If the current king of sweden dies or abdicates then sweden will have their first queen they changed the rules to allow the  first born who is a gal to be the heir rather than her younger brother.

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  • 05-22-2007 11:25 AM In reply to

    • TIICA
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    Can girls become heirs too? a woman kabaka for buganda???

    K_raw   and   Butterfly,

    Both of you have brought in a new flavor and spices to the dicussion, I like the new development. Actually when I modified the topic to read that can girls become heirs too? , hey little did I know that some pipo were thinking far ahead of me and looking at the royal families in Uganda as an example.

     u talk of Buganda, but may be we leave it to time and providence, who knows what God has in store for the royal family of Buganda? But I know that as of now they have a girl child. But again I think the news of the royal family of Bunyoro having got a baby boy has sent more joy to the pipo of Bunyoro kingdom as they are already having this cultural thing of anticipating the would be HEIR and as in most african cultures they expect that heir to be a son!.

     Iam just wondering now how the Bataka of Buganda/Bunyoro/Tooro are saying about the baby girl and the baby boy of both kingdoms Buganda and Bunyoro? .... interesting ... its the same old friendhip between the two sister kingdoms Bunyoro and Buganda. Dont forget that in their resistance to colonialism, both Kabaka Mwanga and Omukama Kabaleega  finally became friends and decided to join together in fighting the British and then went into hiding and went to Lango, I hear  thats where they were finally captured by the British and taken to exile as a punishment for their combined effort to begin the FIRST EVER  National Resistance Movement and Army :NRM  and NRA against the British in 1899.

    But I dont like this cultural thing because it puts so much pressure on the married family (and it may also be the case for Buganda royal family) to produce a baby BOY who can be heir and it causes  serious psychological problems for the husband and wife as pressure mounts on them to get a baby boy. And so am left wondering : are we ready for change, or is it the other way round that change will make us bend and dance to its tune as we see the heir to the rioyal throne being a girl. its all speculation and i hope it doesnot turn into a paparrazi thing on the royal families. Someone once said that: IF YOU DONT CONTROL CHANGE, IF YOU DONT CHANGE CHANGE , THEN CHANGE  WILL CHANGE YOU

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=60-qIAHtYD8  BUGANDA

    http://www.newvision.co.ug/D/8/12/566217   BUNYORO

    http://www.torokingdom.org/Oyo.htm     TOORO  http://www.ugpulse.com/articles/daily/homepage.asp?ID=90

    IAM because WE are , and since WE are, therefore IAM
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  • 05-23-2007 4:27 AM In reply to

    • butterfly
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    Re: Can girls become heirs too? a woman kabaka for buganda???

    Tiica i agree with you especially on the last sentence abt Change.

    Certainly it is interesting to see Bunyoro and Tooro having male heirs and the Mighty Buganda grappling to find a male heir considering the Iguru's advanced age producing an heir at this moment is no mean feet and i know the Banyoro must be elated. However, Say if the current King and Queen of Buganda fail to produce a Boy this age old cultural tribe will have to go back to the drawing board;Should we have a girl af leader? Have the king's son lead but whose blood is diluted or have the nearest king's brother in line take over.

    However the other Pertinent issue abt the Buganda Monarch is [if am wrong guys correct/educate me] that the Muslim can not be a king so Prince Kassim Nakibenge is out that leaves other like prince Wassajja who by the way his mother was a Muhiima woman from the Ankole royal house. So is it crunch time yet? i hope the Nabaggeleka is not on pressure to produce a baby boy!

    Little things affect little minds
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  • 05-23-2007 1:25 PM In reply to

    • TIICA
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    Re: Can girls become heirs too? a woman kabaka for buganda???

    butterfly:

    Tiica i agree with you especially on the last sentence abt Change.

    Certainly it is interesting to see Bunyoro and Tooro having male heirs and the Mighty Buganda grappling to find a male heir considering the Iguru's advanced age producing an heir at this moment is no mean feet and i know the Banyoro must be elated.

     However, Say if the current King and Queen of Buganda fail to produce a Boy this age old cultural tribe will have to go back to the drawing board;........

     So is it crunch time yet? i hope the Nabaggeleka is not on pressure to produce a baby boy!

     

    Butterfly,

    I hear u asking: 1- what if the royal family FAIL to produce a boy. 2- u hope the queen is not on pressure to produce a baby boy?

    Once u ar King or Queen then u ar a public figure and culturally the pipo want success not failure. And the bataka might end up saying that culturally its the woman who has failed to produce a baby boy for the kingdom. I hate this thing of calling it FAIL, but I know that now its going to affect the royal family so much !! as they dont want to be called FAIL...... Omukama Iguru went thru the same painful experience as the kingdom kept asking where is the child to be born from your marriage union with the new Queen, and will the child be a girl or a boy? we want a boy!!. Imagine , as if ua marriage is their marriage, as if your wife is the wife of the clan, the tribe?, But may be thats the cultural practice  and belief that the woman must produce for the expansion of the lineage of the man and in this case for the Kabaka.Modern question: is it fare to evaluate marriage in terms of whether the children born among them is a  son/heir? or as its the modern royal family, they must be asking themselves what next, are we a success or are we  being seen as Fail because other kingdoms have  babyboys as  to be heirs.?

    I now realize that its not  comfortable to be a KING and or to be a QUEEN --- you end up having no privacy even in ua married life as long as u ar ROYAL FAMILY.

     We leave it all to LIISODDENE, God the BIG EYED PERSON to look down on the Buganda royal family and at HIS own appointed time He will provide an answer to the family's search for a son/heir. The good thing is that both the King and the Queen are educated enough in both the culture of the Baganda and in the values of the western civilisation and i hoper in the faith of christianity and they know they must lead Buganda Kingdom to adjust to new challenges including this one of their now having a baby girl. May be the child to be born next may be a boy ? who knows? leave it all to LIISODDENE  that Almighty God  who provides for all at His appointed time that He sees is BEST for this Royal Family.  as for now -  am sure now the Queen must be thinking -- O no, its not my child as yet  to lead the kingdom, may be it will be some one elses child.  But if she is a woman of prayer to God, she will see light at the end of the TUNNEL

    IAM because WE are , and since WE are, therefore IAM
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  • 05-23-2007 8:07 PM In reply to

    • oloya
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    Re: Can girls become heirs too? a woman kabaka for buganda???

    DO YOU MEAN TO SAY MUTEBI'S STEAM ENGINE DOESN'T WORK?

    SO WHERE IS THE OLD WORRY FOR THE SUCCESSOR?

    THE PERSON ON TOP AT BED WOULD BE PULLING THE STRING OF GOVT. AND POLICY.

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  • 05-24-2007 1:15 AM In reply to

    • TIICA
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    Re: Can girls become heirs too? a woman kabaka for buganda???

     Hey,

     may be one day  Buganda Princes  Katrina Ssangalyambogo will look back

    and proudly say - YES IT A BLESSING TO BE A GIRL / WOMAN, THANK GOD AM A GIRL, A PRINCESS.

     MAMA  and DAD THANK YOU for bringing me into this world

    and she will proudly sing with joy         

     this song       http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JayQsCoP7L4

    IAM because WE are , and since WE are, therefore IAM
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  • 05-24-2007 1:16 PM In reply to

    • TIICA
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    Re: Can girls become heirs too? a woman kabaka for buganda???

     oh

    BLESSINGS TO THE BUGANDA ROYAL FAMILY

    http://joe-ks.com/archives_may2005/Elastic_Baby.htm

    its the  royal baby  laughing with joy.

    IAM because WE are , and since WE are, therefore IAM